Orsdxy

I've been at my current job for a few months now, and the lack of conversation is starting to really bother me. Besides me, there are four other employees, and we all sit in the same open office area. My coworkers do not talk to me.. it's not just to me, they don't talk to each other except rarely about technical issues. We all work on separate projects so technical discussions are few and far between. I've tried to chat about mutual interests or the weather or lunch or commuting or ...anything. No one seems interested in any conversation. I've asked folks to get coffee or lunch and no one has agreed.

My problem is that I am a social person. I like to be able to bounce ideas off people when working on technical issues and I really thrive on social interaction. I have an active social life, date, and a bartender a few nights a week. I'm not socially awkward, and people seem to enjoy chatting with me outside of my office. Heck, people on other teams talk with me. But at work it's an eight our stretch of isolation. The person I sit directly next to wears headphones all day so it's an imposition to ask them to discuss anything because they have to take off their earbuds any time we talk. So I've stopped trying. I can easily go an entire day without speaking a word to anyone on my team and it's driving me stir crazy!

Does anyone have any ideas? I am planning to look for a new job because I feel like I am in solitary confinement 8 hours a day. My last job was not like this, people chatted with each other and socialized and stopped by my desk to run technical problems back and forth and just plain say hello.

It sounds like you're not a good fit for that office. I wouldn't force the issue with your cowokers as it's not their problem. If they want to work in silence, with headphones on for 9 hours and that is how they're most productive then fine.

What you need to balance is if this is acceptable for you? I have worked on teams like you describe and I find it difficult. I find the silence can be claustrophobic. Personally I decided that it wasn't the place for me and I found a different job.

The only small thing I would add is that if their lack of communication is actually causing you work issues. If they're failing to inform you of things you need to do your job then maybe you have an issue that needs addressing.

People who hired you with the thought to put you into that silent office failed to take your and your future coworkers' personalities into account. There's no right or wrong with chatting or no chatting (both can increase and hamper productivity), but you definitely don't fit in with your team. I think it's a serious concern.

If I were in your shoes, I'd try to get a different job in the same company (with the team I know I am on the same wavelenght with) or change my employer altogether. You spend most of your waking hours with these people (as they do with you). It is worth trying to make these hours as pleasant as possible, even if that means a major change.

If you've tried breaking the ice, and it didn't work after repeated efforts, there's not much more you can do other than to accept it or move on to somewhere else.

For what it's worth, the situation as described seems very unusual. You stumbled into a very uncommon workplace where everyone has put a shell around themselves. It is far more common to have lively interaction in a workplace where people are next to each other. Even in sweat-shop environments people talk and keep each other company.

The good news is that you're likely to not see this problem again if you switch jobs.

If you are part of a larger company, you can explain to your boss that you work better when there is some noise and chatting going on. And then ask if it is possible to be moved into a different grouping where that is happening.

You've already said that you work on different projects, so the lack of collaboration won't cause any issues.

Point out that there could be some benefits to the company if you move, as well. You will get some understanding on other aspects of the company (a programmer in the midst of the accountants, for instance, will get ideas for helping the accountants in ways that the isolated programmer would never think of). And there may be someone in another group that is always complaining about all the noise, and who would work better in the quieter environment. Both of those changes would help tear down barriers and reduce silos, which helps the company, not just you.

We hear the phrase "good fit" so often that It has practically become a cliché.

This, however demonstrates how important it is to fit in not only with the skills, but with the culture.

IN THE FUTURE

Always ask about things regarding the culture. It sounds like a quiet group is not a good fit for you, and visa versa. Since this sounds like it is a big thing to you, always ask.

FOR RIGHT NOW

• See if you can get an internal transfer if you like the company


• Float your resume, get interviews, and ask about the culture in the interviews


• Be prepared to move on if you don't find a good fit within your company.


• See if you can schedule time with your coworkers to chat. (break time, lunch, after work, et cet)

Sounds like you're in a room with people that can't or won't be distracted by chit chat.

See if you can keep working there or, if a different climate is important for you, indeed find another employer.

Many people, creative or technical are actually deeply involved in their work and the thought processes coming with it and consider idle talk nonsensical and very disrupting to their process.

Be considerate,.

If they don't engage, let them be.( you've made your effort, they didn't reciprocate)

You need to quit and get a new job.

I tend to work silently, and I can tell you that conversation is a massive distraction for me. It's at the point where I've given up on intense focus at work in my office. The thing is that the other people in my office need to talk for technical and social reasons. Not talking would harm their productivity.

Your situation is the reverse. Your talking to your coworkers is going to throw them off or distract them in ways they don't want to be thrown off of distracted. You've also made it pretty clear that you can't go on working like this. The solution for you is simply to leave and find another office that you can work in well. That's really all you can do.

If you try meetings, then they're just going to act the same way they normally do in the meeting. Stand ups might help you, but I wouldn't bet a lot on it.